ANNOUNCEMENT: This post brought to you by Corporate Douchebag Enterprises*

Gladys Knight and The Pips - Midnight Train to Georgia



Gladys Knight. Gladys Knight and The Pips. No relation to Michael Knight but I'm seeing a tie-in here, people. Think merchandising opportunities. Think collaborations. Think about that key over 50 housewife demographic! Wouldn't Gladys, the Pips and The Hoff break through in the lonely housewife market? I'm seeing gold records up on the walls. Think graphs heading towards the stratosphere and charts with little dots bouncing off the ceiling. Only in Germany, you say? Bollocks.

Well then, this is THE song for the key 50+ housewife/empty nester demographic. Young people will hate it, but that's ok because we hate them too. Look at how we've used the Backstreet Boys and N*Sync to destroy their minds. By the time they hit 50, if they hit 50, they'll be begging us for Gladys Knight.

The song? The song? Who cares about the song. It's family friendly, made by unthreatening black people. Hell, even the men with the deep voices are singing with smiles on their faces. THIS WILL SELL! SELL MILLIONS! IT WILL MAKE US ALL RICH!

First the airwaves. Then the television. Then the movies. Then the world. We will take over the world thanks to Gladys Knight and The Pups. Pips. Whatever. No-one really cares. The song is inconspicuous. Hell, no-one will know, and we can assume control of their thinking faculties. Everyone wants sweetly-sung songs about love. People don't want to be challenged. This song will not challenge them so they will buy it and, with that, erode their ability to think critically. Which will allow us to sell them more more more crap crap crap.

The world is ours.

(Tomorrow: Fats Domino - Ain't That A Shame)

* I know it's a bit late, but this post was written on friday when I was, unfortunately, dressed like a corporate douchebag and sitting in an airport. Wa-hey!